and it looks like a perfect day

A girl who was in my English class both first and second semester last year died yesterday. I don't know any details. I wasn't BFF with her, she actually transferred to UDell this semester, so I haven't spoken to her in a month or so...but it's just weird. I'm not incredibly sad, but I am shaken.

We're nineteen. NINETEEN. We're not supposed to die. It just makes you re-evaluate your life a bit, ya know?

I need to figure out where my life is going. I don't mean career wise, cause I'm 19 and don't give a fuck. I mean personally. I feel like I get in these weird self-evaluation modes that end in my confusion and occasional homesickness.

I'm dancing again, though, which is fab. Twice a week, which I can't afford...but I'm doing it anyways so I don't go crazy.

I've made it almost two weeks without skipping any classes. I think I deserve a cookie. Or a bottle of vodka. I'm obviously choosing the latter.

I've done some really odd things in the past two weeks, and have every intention of doing some more within the next few. Welcome to sophomore year.

My one apartment mate, Katie, is the single most selfish person I've ever met in my life, and it's becoming a problem. Here are two fun examples:

1) "OMG don't I look so fat" or "This outfit is cute, right?" ... if you know shit about me, you know I refuse to give in to attention whores. I hate when people beg for compliments. If you look pretty, I'll tell you. I hate when people ask for compliments so much, it drives me up a wall.
2) I was in LBI this weekend for a wedding, so Maria (my roommate, who I love) and Katie were at the apartment alone (apartment mate # 4, Alexa, was home). Katie FORCED Maria into going to a party (we don't like parties, we like bars) and then proceeded to FORCE Maria onto some guy. Maria got blackout drunk, may have accidentally fucked him, and then when she called Katie crying from outside the house, all Katie said was "Maria I thought you already left!" ... MARIA WAS OUTSIDE THE DOOR. Katie refused to take black-out drunk Maria home. Are you kidding?! If a friend is that drunk and wants to go home, you take her home. No questions. I've lost all respect for her...and i'm stuck living with her.

Oh well, hopefully she'll grow out of it.

I actually forgot this thing existed. I'm thinking it's time to start (attempting) to update again, since we're all heading back to our respective schools and this seems like the only forum for us to keep up with eachothers lives.

I move back to Philly in three days. This will undoubtedly be the longest three days of my life.

I miss you guys (well, the three of you I assume still read this...Lyss, D, Tina). Please keep in touch.

:)

there are no words to describe how glad i am that it's almost over.

there are no words to describe the way i've felt over the last eight days.

i'm both incredibly proud and unfortunately disappointed. but that's alright; the disappointment was neither in myself nor the job i've done so all i can do now is be thankful that it's almost over.

my aim won't work. if you're in sga, check your email...and tell everyone else too as well. please.

so i really hate those girls who bitch and moan and say "i hate that no body takes me seriously", but...

i hate that no body takes me seriously.

it's hard to understand how and why the weeks leading up to homecoming are so stressful, but they really are. it seems like no matter what i say, people don't quite listen...but i guess if you want something done you must do it yourself.

i apologize for my bitching. and i apologize in advance for how bitchy i might be the next two weeks.

This may be harder than I thought. Pae had told me that SGA was going to test my strength as a person and as a leader...and I'm thinking that he was right.

But....Dr. Logan nominated me for the National Principal's Leadership Award. Which is a huge fucking deal. So I just keep telling myself that there are people who believe in me...so I'll tough it out and do my best.

Not to sound cheesey or anything.

i hate cross roads. i don't knowwwwwwwwwww.